yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
