There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
