Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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