He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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