as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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