Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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