I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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