i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What a dumb baby whore.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
