I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
