did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i barfeds in our rink
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
