FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
