Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I got chris browned last night
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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