I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is classic penis vs brain.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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