wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
