So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize