yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
