i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
