so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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