I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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