Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
