So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
