Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
