only if we run a train.
done.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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