dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
