Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
