She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have post one night stand depression
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
