i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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