have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
