I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
