U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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