I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
