her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
