I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just threw up on my dentist
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
