TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
