I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
