dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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