he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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