god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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