Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
