somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
