Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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