And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
