she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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