he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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