Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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