I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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