Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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