I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
