Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is the high leading the old right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
