You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
