So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
