Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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