I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
