We won't sleep together?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
