god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
