It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
