Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
