some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
