We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
